1. Why don’t my breasts match?
Unless you’ve had a boob job, don’t count on perfectly symmetrically breasts.
That’s because breasts are made of mammary gland tissue and fat, and have naturally different amounts in each. For some women, the difference is more pronounced – but it’s usually a cosmetic issue. The fix: If it’s embarrassing or affecting your sex life, surgery is an option.
If one breast suddenly becomes much larger than the other, it could indicate an infection or tumor. Run to your gynecologist to have it evaluated immediately.
2. Is it normal to pass gas during orgasm?
When you climax, the muscles around your genitals – including the sphincter muscle – relax, so it’s not unusual for a little gas to escape. But even before orgasm, the in-and-out motion may trigger gas because the penis rubs against the anus through the vaginal wall, she says.
The fix: If it happens frequently, take an over-the-counter anti-gas medication that contains simethicone before having sex.
3. I had a dream about having sex with another woman. Am I gay or bisexual?
Not necessarily. It could mean you’re attracted to women (or a particular woman). But also it may signal that you’re missing the close, cozy feelings of hanging with a girlfriend.
Sometimes women symbolize nurturance, love and closeness in dreams. If you’re in a relationship with a guy and you’re not getting enough closeness such a dream might mean you need more of that.
Remember: An erotic dream doesn’t define your sexual identity. Even if it means you feel sexually attracted to another woman, you don’t need to pigeonhole yourself. Maybe you’ll be attracted to women at times. There’s a scale rather than being gay, straight or bi.
4. Is a cold sore the same as herpes?
Cold sores don’t carry the same stigma as genital herpes. But strains of the same herpes simplex virus cause cold sores on the lips (and face, chest, even the fingers), as well as blisters around genitals. In some cases, the virus strain that causes cold sores can also cause serious eye and brain infections. About 50%-80% of American adults have oral herpes; 20% have genital herpes.
Herpes simplex virus 1 (HSV-1) usually occurs above the waist (generally through kissing or sharing eating utensils. Herpes simplex virus 2 (HSV-2) usually occurs below the waist (generally through sexual contact).
But you can get either virus in either area through oral-genital contact.
The fix: Both HSV-1 and HSV-2 can be treated with antiviral medications. But neither is curable.
5. Can certain exercises really lead to better sex?
For starters, a good cardiovascular routine helps build energy and stamina.
Strength training and stretching can help you build muscles and improve flexibility so you can get into – and maintain – various sex positions.
The best exercise to improve sex is the Kegel squeeze. It’s basically strength training for your pubococcygeus (or PC) muscles, which hold up your vagina, anus, uterus, bladder and urethra. The stronger these muscles, the more intense your orgasms.
6. Is cybersex really cheating?
Many people may not consider provocative emails to be cheating. After all, they reason, you’re only exchanging thoughts or fantasies, not bodily fluids. But ask yourself: Would you want your partner to read your exchanges and would he be hurt, angry or resentful if he did?
If your partner wouldn’t feel comfortable with what you’re doing, you’re probably out of bounds. BTW, this is what counts as cheating. Try to figure out what’s missing from your relationship that you’re looking for online. Bored with your sex life? Does your husband see you a mom instead of a sex kitten?
So don’t act out online. Rather, talk about it with your partner and expand your sex life together. Real sex beats the virtual kind any day.
7. Will my vagina be noticeably bigger after I have a baby?
If you push a baby out through your vagina, expect some stretching. After delivery, the vaginal opening is anywhere from 1-4 centimeters bigger than it was before. Whether it snaps back to pre-delivery size after your recovery depends on several factors …
The fix: Ask your gynecologist about vaginal reconstruction (also known as perineoplasty or vaginoplasty). The surgery can help lift and tighten the sagging muscles at the vagina’s opening and deeper inside.
8. I’ve never had an orgasm during intercourse. Is there something wrong me?
Nope. In fact, about 70% of women don’t orgasm during intercourse without direct clitoral stimulation. If you can’t have orgasms with intercourse, you’re normal.
Touching your clitoris during sex really ups the chances that you’ll have an orgasm.
If you’ve never experienced an orgasm – and about 10% of women haven’t – consider investing in lubricants (not oil, which can irritate sensitive vaginal tissues) and experiment alone. Don’t get discouraged if there are no immediate fireworks. The first time, it might take an hour of stimulation to produce an orgasm; it might also take many tries to get comfortable with the feelings of strong arousal.
9. Where’s my G-spot?
That’s the million-dollar sex question. Some researchers don’t believe in the G-spot. Others staunchly defend its existence but disagree about its exact location.
One school of sex researchers says the G-spot is the glandular tissue around the urethra (found behind your pubic bone, about 2 inches inside your vagina).
Others believe it’s farther back, in a triangular area on the back of the bladder wall – called the trigone or T Zone – where three nerves come together. It’s probably some combination of these. But if your partner’s plucking the right strings, so to speak, does it matter which instrument he’s playing?
10. Can anal sex give me hemorrhoids?
Not as long as you’re relaxed and enjoying it. Hemorrhoids (painful swollen veins in the anal area) can result from excess pressure around your anus – say, when you’re constipated and straining to go to the bathroom.
But when you use a good lubricant and the penetration feels comfortable – not forced – there’s no risk of anal sex causing hemorrhoids.
True fact: Some sex researchers believe tush play may actually prevent hemorrhoids.
It improves the strength and flexibility of the skin and muscles, so that the anus is better able to respond to pressure, rather than bulging and producing hemorrhoids.
11. Why don’t my privates look like a centerfold’s?
Even if you started with a nice, tight package, child birth changes everything. Once you push a couple of 8-10 pound babies through the birth canal, things down there won’t look the same. Indeed, Dr. Rosenzweig says, some women’s vaginas sag so much that they complain of discomfort while walking.
Not surprisingly, age is another culprit. You don’t expect to look like the pouty-lipped young things in Clearasil ads when you’re 45, right? Well, just as the lips around your mouth can thin with age, so can the ones in your southern hemisphere.
Women lose fat in that area, the elasticity and tone of the tissue decreases and the inner vaginal lips droop.
The fix: Women can recapture the vaginas of their youth with labiaplasty (trimming up the inner lips) and/or perineoplasty (tightening the vaginal opening).
12. I smell down there. What can I do?
You’re probably worrying needlessly. Most of the women who come in saying, ‘I smell really bad. If you’re concerned, see your gynecologist because strong odor (and discharge) is a sign of a bacterial infection.
If there’s no infection and you’re still worried, avoiding spicy or pungent foods may help. Or try an over-the-counter product called Rephresh. It rebalances the vagina’s pH and makes you more fragrant.
Don’t use douches or feminine sprays. They can irritate and can alter the vagina’s natural flora. That increases your risk of getting an infection and masks an existing one.
13. Does piercing my genitals increase my risk for infection?
It’s not a great idea to have foreign objects around your genitalia because areas prone to moisture and intimate contact are very attractive to bacteria. But if you have great hygiene and a normal immune system, a genital piercing isn’t going to increase your risk for yeast infections or bacterial vaginosis.
Still, some people always have a little redness or irritation around pierced areas, even when they’re in ho-hum spots like ears, noses or navels.
The fix: If your piercing seems perpetually inflamed, take it out.
14. I’ve been diagnosed with HPV once in the past, so do I still have it and? Am I still at risk for cervical cancer?
If you’ve had sex, you’ve probably bumped into human papilloma virus (HPV) – about 80% of sexually active people have been exposed to at least one of the 30 known HPV strains.
But in most cases – 90% – the infection clears up on its own. Odds are, you won’t even realize you had it.
Most HPV viruses come and go without notice, but about 10 strains can increase your risk of developing cervical cancer.
If you’re under 26, consider getting the HPV vaccine, Gardasil, which protects against the four main strains of HPV responsible for about 70% of cervical cancers. (This goes for men too.) Also, protect yourself with routine Pap tests, which look for changes in the cervix that could eventually become cancer.
We don’t know why some women develop cervical cancer and others don’t.
But there are millions of women with HPV and more than 11,000 cases of cervical cancer in the U.S. each year.
If you’re screened regularly, it’s very unlikely you’ll develop cervical cancer. If you did, it would be caught extremely early and likely completely cured. Most women over 30 who’ve had three consecutive normal Pap tests are advised to get screenings only every 2 to 3 years.